What Thriving Really Takes
Mastering the skills school left out.
Schools teach us facts but don’t teach us how to thrive. You probably learned how to solve for x, memorize historical dates, and write essays. But did anyone teach you how to decide where to live, how to pick your friends, or what kind of work would give your life meaning? Did you learn how to keep your cool when everything went wrong—or how to support a friend through a tragic loss? For all the good our schools do, they don’t prepare us to thrive.
The Problem
Schools don’t give us all the tools we need to thrive. Math, history, and writing are useful, but they don’t prepare us for life’s hardest decisions: where to live, what career to pursue, or who to build a life with. They don’t teach us how to handle failure, support loved ones through loss, or manage a financial crisis. But you can fill in these gaps.
Thriving isn’t automatic—it takes intentional effort and the right tools.
Why It Matters
Thriving requires skills that life demands. Decision-making, emotional intelligence, and resilience aren’t extras—they’re essential. Sooner or later, everyone steps into deep waters. Usually, you’re left to sink or swim.
These skills shape the quality of your life. They help you evaluate tough choices, recover from setbacks, and build meaningful connections. They let you handle life’s highs and lows with class.
But we’re rarely taught these skills. Most of us stumble along through trial and error, learning lessons the hard way. It doesn’t have to be this way.
What Thriving Takes
Thriving isn’t about luck—it’s about mastering the right tools. These tools aren’t mysteries; they’re skills anyone can learn with effort and practice. Decision-making frameworks help us weigh choices effectively, as Annie Duke explores in Thinking in Bets. Emotional intelligence lets us navigate relationships and challenges with grace, as described in Emotional Intelligence 2.0. As Rick Hanson teaches in Resilient, resilience keeps us moving forward when life gets hard.
These tools can help you handle reality. Imagine making tough decisions with confidence, staying calm in a crisis, or building trust in every relationship. These skills don’t just make life easier—they make it richer and more fulfilling.
And it’s never too late to learn them. Whether you’re trying to dig out of a hole or looking to improve your already awesome existence, you can master the skills that build a thriving life.
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
—Maya Angelou
This is normally where I’d give you a bit of RAH-RAH encouragement and tell you to go out and get started. But I don’t have a clue about your particular situation at the moment. I don’t know if your biggest problem right now is with parenting, money, good emotional decisions or all of the above (I hope not). Whatever your pain-point, you can get help from people who’ve been there before. You don’t have to reinvent anything from scratch.
You know where you’re hurting most. I wish I’d known about these as I’ve dealt with my own problems. Thriving isn’t a goal—it’s a skillset we can all develop.
"Special thanks to Al, my ChatGPT AI assistant, for help brainstorming this post."
That’s My Perspective.
Additional Resources:
1. Decision-Making
"Thinking in Bets" by Annie Duke
ISBN: 978-0735216358"Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work" by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
ISBN: 978-0307956392"Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results" by Shane Parrish
ISBN: 978-0593489481Alliance for Decision Education
Website:
https://alliancefordecisioneducation.org/
Decision Education Foundation
Website:
http://www.decisioneducation.org/
2. Emotional Intelligence
"Emotional Intelligence 2.0" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
ISBN: 978-0974320625"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" by Marshall B. Rosenberg
ISBN: 978-1892005281"Dare to Lead" by Brené Brown
ISBN: 978-0399592522
3. Resilience
"Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness" by Rick Hanson
ISBN: 978-0451498847"The Resilience Factor" by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatté
ISBN: 978-0767911917"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth
ISBN: 978-1501111112
4. Financial Literacy
"Rich Dad Poor Dad" by Robert T. Kiyosaki
ISBN: 978-1612680194"The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey
ISBN: 978-1595555274"Your Money or Your Life" by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez
ISBN: 978-0143115762
5. Critical Thinking
"Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman
ISBN: 978-0374533557"The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" by Carl Sagan
ISBN: 978-0345409461"Critical Thinking: A Beginner’s Guide" by Sharon M. Kaye
ISBN: 978-1851686541
6. Communication
"Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High" by Kerry Patterson et al.
ISBN: 978-0071771320"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie
ISBN: 978-0671027032"Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen
ISBN: 978-0143118442
7. Collaboration
"Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World" by General Stanley McChrystal
ISBN: 978-1591847489"The Five Dysfunctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni
ISBN: 978-0787960759"Collaborative Intelligence: Thinking with People Who Think Differently" by Dawna Markova and Angie McArthur
ISBN: 978-0812994902
8. Self-Regulation
"The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" by Charles Duhigg
ISBN: 978-0812981605"Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" by James Clear
ISBN: 978-0735211292
9. Purpose and Values Identification
"Man’s Search for Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl
ISBN: 978-0807014271"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey
ISBN: 978-0743269513"Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action" by Simon Sinek
ISBN: 978-1591846444
10. Plays Well with Others
"Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships is (Mostly) Wrong" by Eric Barker
ISBN: 978-0062884005